We’ve been working through the Maturity Wheel — five interconnected areas where real growth happens. This week we move into Finances and Career, starting with the hardest conversation most men never have: what is money actually for?
Most men don’t ask this question. We chase money, stress about it, fight about it with our wives, lie awake thinking about it. But we rarely stop to ask: What is it supposed to be in my life?
Jesus did. And His answer cuts deeper than most men like to admit.
THE MAMMON PROBLEM
In Luke 16, Jesus makes a stark statement:
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
He doesn’t say “don’t love money too much.” He says you cannot serve both. It’s not balance — it’s allegiance.
The word Jesus uses is mammon — money as a master. Money as a god. The thing you ultimately trust, fear, and serve.
Most men think mammon only describes the rich guy. The greedy accumulator. And yes, that’s one version.
But it’s not the only one.
TWO WAYS MEN WORSHIP MAMMON
I’ve sat across from two kinds of enslaved men. They just don’t look the same.
The first loves money through pursuit. Grinding. Chasing. Convinced that if he makes more, achieves more, accumulates more, he’ll finally feel secure. His worth is his net worth. His identity is his income. He can’t rest. He can’t be generous. He can’t lead his family because money demands all his attention.
The second loves money through fear. He doesn’t have enough — or thinks he doesn’t. Striving in his own strength. White-knuckling through financial anxiety. He resents money. He’s angry at it. But he’s equally enslaved. His fear of scarcity is as much a master as the other man’s love of abundance. He can’t rest. He can’t be generous. Anxiety has taken the wheel.
Two different men. Same root: mammon is their master.
Here’s what Jesus knows that most men miss: you can be broke and love money. You can be rich and love money. Your heart determines whether you’re serving mammon, not your account balance.
WHEN MONEY BECOMES YOUR GOD
I learned this in college.
I needed a credit card to cover expenses — books, tuition, a few things. What started as a tool became a trap. A few hundred dollars in debt felt like thousands to a college kid.
And then I felt it: the weight.
Not just financial. Emotional. Spiritual. That credit card debt created anxiety I hadn’t expected. I’d lie awake thinking about it. Small in dollars but massive in its grip on my soul. Money had become more than a tool. It had become a source of shame and fear.
I worked hard to pay it off. I couldn’t live under that weight anymore. I resolved to never live under that crushing weight again. Maybe you find yourself there. Scripture says that the borrower is slave to the lender. That feeling of being a slave is a heavy burden. One that men need to be freed from.
That season taught me: money itself is neutral. Your relationship to it determines whether it serves you or enslaves you.
The question isn’t whether you have money. The question is: What is money for in your life?
Is it your security? Your identity? Your proof of worth? Or is it a tool entrusted to you for something bigger than yourself?
WHAT MONEY IS ACTUALLY FOR
Money is a tool for stewardship. That’s it.
In Genesis, God gave man dominion: “Tend the garden. Cultivate it. Care for it.” Work was always generative. Money is the exchange of that work — the tool that lets you provide for your household, care for the vulnerable, and participate in God’s work.
Money becomes a problem when you treat it like the point instead of the tool.
When money is the point, you become a slave. You chase it endlessly. You hoard it fearfully. You let it dictate your decisions, time, relationships, peace.
But when you understand money as a tool — something entrusted to you for a season — everything shifts. You can hold it loosely. You’re generous with it. You make decisions based on your calling, not your bank account. You lead your family toward freedom.
That’s what the mature man understands: money is not your master. It’s a tool.
THE FREEDOM QUESTION
A man enslaved to mammon cannot move freely. He cannot obey God if it threatens financial security. He cannot be generous because he fears scarcity. He cannot lead well because anxiety has his attention.
But a man who understands money as stewardship is free.
He can take risks for his calling. He can be generous without fear. He can make decisions based on what matters most. He can sleep at night.
That’s the promise: freedom to obey without chains of fear or greed.
Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 6: “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil… But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.”
When you love money — whether chasing or fearing it — you wander from faith. You stop trusting God. You start serving a different master.
The antidote isn’t more money or less money. It’s clarity about what money is for.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
Freedom from mammon requires honesty and intentionality.
STEP ONE: NAME IT
Before budget or conversation, name where mammon actually has your heart. This is a soul exercise.
Sit down and ask yourself:
Where is money my source of security? Where am I striving instead of trusting God? Where am I using money to prove my worth? Where am I afraid of not having enough?
One of those questions probably landed harder than the others. That might be where mammon has you.
You must name it. A man can’t repent from something he refuses to see.
STEP TWO: LEAD AT HOME
Once you’ve named it internally, lead your household. Leading doesn’t mean what most men think.
Some of you are naturally gifted with finances — the spreadsheet person. Your temptation is to control everything and cut your wife out. Don’t.
Other men hate finances. Your temptation is to check out and let her carry it all. Don’t do that either.
Leading means: you own the rhythm and vision. You stay engaged.
Set up a regular money conversation with your wife. Monthly works. Quarterly minimum. Put it on the calendar.
In that conversation: Ask real questions. Where are we? What are we worried about? Go first with vulnerability. Name your anxieties. Listen to understand, not to argue. Own the direction together.
Your wife doesn’t need to be excluded from money decisions. She needs to be part of the vision. She needs to feel like a partner, not a passenger.
If you’re the man who avoids all this — your avoidance is abdication. It leaves your wife carrying weight alone.
STEP THREE: TAKE INVENTORY
A shocking number of men don’t know their actual financial situation. They know they have debt but can’t name the number.
Sit down — with your wife — and take inventory:
How much total debt do you have? What’s your actual monthly spending? Where is your money going? What are you saving for?
Write it down. Look at it.
This is clarity. You can’t lead toward freedom if you don’t know where you actually are.
STEP FOUR: INVITE GOD IN
If you’re living in mammon’s grip — greed, fear, or avoidance — I can almost guarantee you’re not tithing. Or if you are, it feels like obligation.
But tithing isn’t duty. It’s worship.
When you give the first portion back to God, you’re declaring: You are my master, not mammon. You are my security. You are worthy of my trust.
Tithing is an act of faith. A declaration that God is enough.
If that feels terrifying, that’s the point. Tithing is supposed to stretch you past where mammon has its grip.
The men who tithe, who give generously, who trust God with their finances — they sleep best at night. Not because they have more money. Because they decided money is not their master.
THE MAN WHO LEADS WITH FREEDOM
A mature man understands that money is not his master. It’s not his shame. It’s not his identity. It’s a tool entrusted to him for stewardship.
And that changes everything.
When mammon loses its grip, a man becomes free to lead. Free to provide without anxiety. Free to be generous without fear. Free to make decisions based on his calling. Free to sleep at night.
Your wife feels that freedom too. Your kids grow up watching a man who isn’t enslaved to greed or consumed by fear. They see what it looks like to trust God with everything.
That’s the legacy of a man who gets this right.
So start this week. Name where mammon has you. Have the conversation with your wife. Take inventory. Invite God in. Because freedom matters. Leadership matters. And your household is waiting on you to show them what it looks like to serve God instead of money.
That’s where mature men are forged.
Join me in this prayer:
Lord, I’m naming where mammon has me. Free me. I’m choosing to trust You with my finances — not because I understand how it will work, but because You’re trustworthy. Help me lead my household toward freedom. Help me be generous. Amen.
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